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The Poetic Retelling of an Unfortunate Seduction
...and all the effects.
xchasedsanityx
NEW JOURNAL


Go to mywebsite to see:

www.thomasjlyon.com
2 Are Free So Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
Today was a great day.   

I updated my website.

Go look!

www.thomasjlyon.com
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
"ILUTJL.
(i want to be with you) ...let me capture your soul :'( please :-\"




I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry
C'mon let's try

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Am I cRaZy for wanting you?
Maybe do you think you could want me too?
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do?
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste





I want YOU and YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL





VIVE FORTITER                                               VITA AEQVAT AMOREM

How I Feel: in love
What I Hear: Only One - Yellowcard

Only One Is Free So Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
You called me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
"Let her go, learn a lesson."
It's not me, you're not listening
Now can't you see, something's missing
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday, if ever you love me, you'd say it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is?

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday, if ever you love me, you'd say it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder, the more that you know
When you get lonely, if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday, if ever you love me, you'd say its okay
It's okay
It's okay

How I Feel: confused confused
What I Hear: Empty Apartment - Yellowcard

Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
Woke up and worked today.

I'm in SUCH a great mood.

My room is clean.

I've got all my paperwork done.

I just, feel, good.

Sam is great. :)

No....

... Amazing.
Only One Is Free So Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
From my Mom: 


http://www45.123greetings.com/card/02/18/15/33/BX10218153345134.html
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
thomasjay1982's Daily Taurus Forecast
        Quickie: The image used to be so clear. Now it's turned to snow. Better adjust the channel.
Overview: As if you weren't already deeply enmeshed -- quite happily so -- within your current peer group, here's yet another chance to snuggle up with a new and improved batch of kindred spirits.


Daily singles love (by Astrology.com)
Is it love that makes the world go 'round -- or communication? Or perhaps communication about love? Untie your tongue and issue a statement about how you feel -- the plainer your statements, the better.

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
These new folks you've been seeing so much of lately? They're really something, aren't they? You feel quite happily involved with them. In fact, it probably feels like you've known them all for far longer than you have. Well, that's a big plus, and you'll be seeing a great deal of them over the next few weeks. Just don't forget your 'old' friends in the process. Why not get them all together?

Today was the shittiest day I've had in a long time.

My doctor has me on two medications.  One is an anti-depressant and generalized anxiety disorder medication, the other is a seditive anti-depressant.  Last night was the first night I took the seditive.  I woke up in SUCH a haze.  I fell twice, but managed to wake up.  I need to set my alarm earlier so I can wake up and SLOWLY sit up and get ready, rather than my normal routine.

Sam is beginning to confuse me.  Hopefully a discussion tonight will clear up any confusion that I have.

My best friend, Casey, is an asshole.  When she needs me, when her and her fiancee' are breaking up and she's down on life, I'm there for her.  As soon as he's back with her, although she says he isn't.. (they sleep in the same bed and live together with us,) she can climb back up on her "even though I'm 19, I know everything about life" pedestal and treat me like her peon.  Fuck that.  We'll see if I do any favors for HER ever again.  Jesus.  She's been such a bitch lately.  I'm getting freakishly annoyed with her attitude and dialect.  Fucking, if you're reading this, tone it down.

Work is increasingly frustrating.  Because of my zombiness this morning, I was late for work.  Only by 3 minutes, but late enough to be upset with myself.  My managers are ok with it, but those 3 minutes could have been big money in my pocket if I got lucky on the dialer. 

My computer keeps turning itself off for some fucking unknown reason.  I've tried everything I know.  I think it's the processor overheating.  Perhaps laptops weren't meant to be on 24/7. 

My life is just so crazy right now. 

I know what I want..... and for some reason, I can't have it.

At all.

I'm so unstable at the moment that it's not even funny.  I'm sick of being alone, I'm sick of work, I'm sick of being "sick," I'm sick of being broke one week, rich the next, I'm sick of feeling guilty for things that aren't my fault, I'm sick of missing my old friends, I'm sick of hating my new ones, I'm sick of feeling like a peon, I'm sick of people treating me like dogshit, I'm sick of everything.

I.. just.......

... want to sleep........  a lot.  For a week.

I'm hungry.
I'm pissy.
I'm tired.
I'm lonely.
























Jesus Christ, what's wrong with me?

How I Feel: cranky cranky
What I Hear: Fuck The World - Me

2 Are Free So Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
It's 11:39, I'm about to go to bed, and THIS comes on my XM Radio. :)

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry
C'mon let's try

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Am I crazy for wanting you?
Maybe do you think you could want me too?
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do?
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
thomasjay1982's Daily Taurus Forecast
        Quickie: The winds are about to shift, so don't get too accustomed to your current course.
Overview: There may be surprises on today's menu, but you'll enjoy it. They may even be a continuation of yesterday's festivities. If you're still in the mood for tender recreation, (and when aren't you?) don't stop now.

Daily singles love (by Astrology.com)
The sweetness from yesterday continues, so don't stop celebrating. Flattery will get you far now, but a compliment will get you even farther -- especially if it's bashfully and sincerely delivered.

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
Since you're still in the mood to let the world know just how you're feeling, the world is still in the mood to hear it. So while you may be quite surprised by the morning's agenda, you won't have to worry about not being happy with it. You'll love every second -- and if you have company handy, they'll love it, too. And speaking of love, isn't that what's really going on here? Might be time to think it over.




Sam's best friend moves away soon... She's sad... :(  I wish I could help. 

Work is good, but frustrating.

Casey is out trying to find Fil at the moment, who isn't home yet.  And should be.
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
thomasjay1982's Daily Taurus Forecast
        Quickie: This may be your only opportunity. Let down your guard. Tell them how you feel.
Overview: You, of all the signs, enjoy Valentine's Day the most, when one and all are sweet to each another and no one is afraid to show their feelings or enjoy a hug. Get a couple of nice warm ones for yourself.

Daily singles love (by Astrology.com)
You're Valentine's Day personified, shooting out arrows of love and spreading amour everywhere. Don't be afraid to let your feelings show -- and don't forget to lavish some attention on your own sweet self.

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
This will be a Valentine's Day you won't soon forget -- for all the right reasons. You'll be especially emotional -- but then, so will the person you've directed your loving, affectionate attention toward. So how could this be less than memorable? If there's any way at all that you can manage to take some time off from the world -- and spend it with your special someone -- please do. Knowing you like they do, none of your colleagues will mind. Especially since you probably haven't taken a personal day in at least a year.



I can hear the phones from work ringing in my ear......
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
So I've been wanting to get a tattoo.  Somewhere not visible.  Like over my heart.  But I never knew what I wanted, until recently. 



They are the chinese symbols for Veneration.

I have also been thinking a LOT about getting my tongue redone... but am worried about the possible health risks associated with that.

It's weird, this weekend, I feel like I'm getting back to my normal self.....  It feels like things are right...

From Sam, to parents, to my life in general... I feel like I'm in a good place right now.  Like life is taking some good turns.

*sigh*

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day.

Yee Ha.

Thoughts on the tattoo???

How I Feel: contemplative contemplative
What I Hear: More Than Fine - Switchfoot

Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
For a long time it seemed to me that
life was about to begin - REAL life.  But
there was always some obstacle in the
way, something to be gotten through
first, some unfinished business, time
still to be served, a debt to be paid.

At last it dawned on me that these
obstacles *WERE* my life.  This perspective
has helped me to see there is no *WAY*
to happiness.  Happiness *IS* the way.  So
treasure every moment you have and
remember that time waits for no one.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
ALLEGANY-CATTARAUGUS-CHAUTAUQUA-GENESEE-NIAGARA-NORTHERN ERIE-
ORLEANS-SOUTHERN ERIE-WYOMING-
INCLUDING THE CITIES OF BATAVIA...BUFFALO...JAMESTOWN...MEDINA...
NIAGARA FALLS...OLEAN...SPRINGVILLE...WARSAW AND WELLSVILLE
239 PM EST SUN FEB 13 2005

...WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IN EFFECT FROM 4 AM MONDAY TO NOON EST
MONDAY...

A MIX OF SNOW...SLEET AND FREEZING RAIN WILL DEVELOP ACROSS THE AREA
LATE TONIGHT AND LINGER INTO MONDAY MORNING. THE MIXED PRECIPITATION
WILL CHANGE TO ALL RAIN BY LATE MORNING AS TEMPERATURES RISE ABOVE
FREEZING.

UP TO ONE TENTH ACCUMULATION OF ICE IS POSSIBLE OVER PARTS OF
WYOMING...CHAUTAUQUA AND ALLEGANY COUNTIES. THE REST OF THE AREA WILL
IS EXPECTED TO SEE LITTLE ACCUMULATION OF ICE BEFORE THE CHANGEOVER
TO RAIN OCCURS.

MOTORIST SHOULD BE PREPARED FOR SLICK SPOTS ON UNTREATED ROADS DURING
THE MONDAY MORNING RUSH HOUR.
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
Good Day today.

Cleaned.

Gave Caitlin Bridget's stuff.

Had a date with Sam.

Printed some pictures.

Found some pictures.

Cleaned the kitchen.

Picked up my laundry.

...

It's just been a good day.

This week... I work tomorrow, yuck.

The weekend seemed so short. :(

Bye for now.

How I Feel: content content

Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
-----Original Message-----
From: Samantha Doe
Sent: Sunday, February 13, 2005 3:58 PM
To: Thomas J. Lyon
Subject: just lyrics


Hootie and The Blowfish // Hold My Hand
With a little love, and some tenderness
We'll walk upon the water
We'll rise above this mess
With a little peace, and some harmony
We'll take the world together
We'll take 'em by the hand
'Cause I've got a hand for you
'Cause I wanna run with you
Yesterday, I saw you standing there
Your head was down, your eyes were red
No comb had touched your hair
I said get up, and let me see you smile
We'll take a walk together
Walk the road awhile, 'cause
'Cause I've got a hand for you
I've got a hand for you
'Cause I wanna run with you
Won't you let me run with you? yeah
Hold my hand
Want you to hold my hand
Hold my hand
I'll take you to a place where you can be
Hold my hand
Anything you wanna be because
I wanna love you the best that, the best that I can
See I was wasted, and I was wasting time
'Till I thought about your problems, I thought about your crimes

Then I stood up, and then I screamed aloud
I don't wanna be part of your problems
Don't wanna be part of your crowd, no
'Cause I've got a hand for you
I've got a hand for you
'Cause I wanna run with you
Ah, won't you let me run with you?
Hold my hand
Want you to hold my hand
Hold my hand
I'll take you to the promised land
Hold my hand
Maybe we can't change the world but
I wanna love you the best that, the best that I can, yeah
Hold my hand
Want you to hold my hand
Hold my hand
I'll take you to a place where you can be
Hold my hand
Anything you wanna be because
I...Oh...No, No, No, No, No
Hold my hand
Want you to hold my hand
Hold my hand
I'll take you to the promised land
Hold my hand
Maybe we can't change the world but
I wanna love you the best that, best that I can
Oh, The best that I can


and that says it all.
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
*sigh*

For those of you who don't know, I LOVE the Suicide Girls...... The look.... The style.... *sigh*

www.suicidegirls.com


Enjoy.


;)
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
Two nights of overtime this week... FYI..


www.thomasjlyon.com
Only One Is Free So Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
" i'm not sure if i like the fact that i never give myself that chance to BE alone.....because i think its making me weaker when shit does happen and i get dumped...or whatever, yet, i like not being alone.....i like loving someone....i like all that comes with it."

Something I've never been able to figure out about myself and someone else feels the same way and IS able to express it, effectively.

Wow.
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
thomasjay1982's Daily Taurus Forecast
        Quickie: Your friends form a stable foundation. They'll support you when others can't.
Overview: Still longing for a few hours of alone time, without the intrusions of the phone, the doorbell or the computer? Well, take it. Turn off anything that beeps, and kick back. You'll be busy enough tomorrow.


Daily singles love (by Astrology.com)
Flattery will get someone everywhere with you right now, and you're ready and willing to flirt right back. If you can't find it at the laundromat, get online and start chatting with some hot prospects

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
In just 24 hours, you'll be under constant supervision -- loving, attentive, wonderful supervision, but supervision, nonetheless. If you're not too excited about it, why not take the night off? You can always insist that you need time to prepare. No one needs to know that you're perpetually ready for a romantic, sensual evening at your place. And wouldn't it be nicer to be together if you missed each other, just a touch? You know what they say about absence.


Hmmmm....

Very interesting.
Clear Your Mind
xchasedsanityx
NO ONE has EVER written me a poem.....

-----Original Message-----
From: Samantha Doe
Sent: Sunday, February 13, 2005 12:26 AM
To: Thomas J. Lyon
Subject:


where does it go
where does my heart go
where does my love flow
where does it go
if you find out
let me know because
i've found this thing
this special person
i cant tell you how it happend
i dont want to either
lets just put it this way
i'm  b l e s s e d
...every day of my life.
thankyou.
Clear Your Mind